Miss Cherry Red

Motherhood. Love. Life. And everything in between

Why is that?  Why are break ups so hard?

To set the record straight, I’m not breaking up.  At least, I don’t think I am.

The Hot Geek and I were talking about a friend of mine this morning.  Her chap is separating from his wife (long, messy story and probably one I’ll save for another post..) and I happened to mention that my friend had commented on her facebook page that the next few weeks were going to be incredibly hard and I guessed that the husband has told the wife it’s over.

The Hot Geek asked why it was going to be hard?  I found that quite a strange question to ask.  I mean, why wouldn’t it be hard?  Why wouldn’t going from having someone in your life 24-7 to not having them around at all be hard?  How could your heart not break?

When I put that to him, his argument is that it’s not necessarily hard for both parties.  If someone has had time to reflect on things and decided that they no longer want to carry on with the relationship then it’s not hard for them.  They’ve had time to process their feelings.

The person on the receiving end of such news may feel somewhat differently.

If it were me, as much as I wouldn’t want to get all emotional and irrational about it, I would.  I know I would.

Things would whirl round my mind relentlessly.  Things like: how could he do this?  What did I do wrong?  Did he actually ever care?

I have spent much of the past week considering how I’d feel if things with him took that kind of turn, especially given my recent behaviour, and the truth is I’d feel like my whole heart was being shattered into a million pieces.  The thought of it brings me to tears.  The fear of losing something that I want so badly terrifies me to very core.

But why?  I mean, doesn’t the saying go “what doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger”?

Well, my question is: why do those things have to hurt like hell before we get to the strong bit?

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