I am not married. Never have been. I happily live (in sin) with The Hot Geek.
I like it that way. It’s nice.
Although I’m starting to think that I carry around some sign declaring my unmarried status that only those with a ring occupying that finger can see.
Does my single-dom offend you? Or do you envy it?
Seriously which one is it, I’m curious. What drives you to bypass the pleasantries in normal conversation and go straight for the jugular?
I took The Girl to a birthday party a week or so again. Now, I’m fairly confident that I wasn’t the only unmarried woman there. But I certainly felt like!
The Girl was grizzling that she was hungry so I made a beeline for the buffet stand.
The whole scene was like watching hyenas prey on the weak.
Married Mother One: Oh hello. You’re The Girls mummy aren’t you
Me: I certainly am
Married Mother Two: How is The Girl getting on at nursery now
Me: Fine thank you. How about yours? Both OK?
Married Mother Two: Yeah they’re well thank you.
I’m getting nervous at this point
Married Mother Two: Any plans for anymore kids? Actually, you and The Hot Geek aren’t married are you?
Here it comes…
Me (with awkward smile): No, we’re not
Married Mother One: Oh, you’re not. Did you not want to get married?
Me: No, we’re fine as we are thanks
As if MM1 and MM2 weren’t bad enough, MM3 tilts her head ‘sympathetically’ to one side and throws her two pence worth in:
Yeah, but being married is great. It completes you. Do you really not want to get married?
I glance at MM1 and MM2 and they’re just grinning at my discomfort. Dipping their carrot sticks into hummus without a hint of guilt on their faces.
I find a break in the chain of marrieds and make a dart for it screaming JESUS H CHRIST PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
I’m OK. I’m not in therapy because I’m unmarried. I don’t have scales on my skin that prevent me getting hitched. I don’t have extra toes or fingers. I’m not semi bald. I’m not ashamed to go out in public and my daughter is emotionally sound.
If I get married it will be because I want to. Not because I buckled under the pressure from the school mums!