What do you call it?
Or moreover what do you tell your kids it’s called?
Oh, I’m sorry, completely not clear – I’m talking about that part of the anatomy… y’know the ‘down there’ parts.
That’s right kids, The Girl has started to ask what the different parts of her body are called and why boys are different to girls.
She’s not even 4.
I did not want to have this conversation (ever) yet.
God help me.
It’s like she’ll point to her chest and ask what the ‘brown spots’ are and I say those are your boobies and she’ll say “my boobies aren’t as big as your boobies are they mummy?”
I’m not sure why but she always look a little sad that hers don’t measure up to mine because after all ‘we’re best friends and best friends have the same’….
I reassure her that one day, when she’s bigger, she’ll have boobies like mine and she always smiles.
Then she has a peek down her top to see if ‘one day’ is now.
Wanna talk about boobies? Bottoms? Sure, why not. I can cope with that.
What I am not mentally ready to talk about is the below -the-waist area.
I remember being little and my Mum explaining to me that boys had willies and girls had minnies.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
On the other side of the country, a young J was told that boys have dinkies and girls have posies.
Vastly different I think you’ll agree.
But which set of names is right?
J does not like the word willie. He says that when he was little willy was a dirty word and you weren’t allowed to say it.
I argued that dinkie is a stupid name for it.
But why the debate you ask?
Because The Girls new favourite question is:
Why do boys stand up to go for a wee-wee and girls sit down?
I was about to jump in with my willy-minnie-stand up-sit down combo but was beat to the punch by J who calmly explained the difference using his words.
I had hoped that that’d be the end of the questions.
But I was wrong.
Very, very wrong.
Next up we had:
Daddy what’s dinkie? Does it look like my minnie?
Well that’s just bloody great…
J is all for explaining it to her using words she’ll understand.
But I have a different solution:
Take her out of nursery, away from boys, away from more questions and home school her.
Till shes 20.