I say ‘just’ but I mean about 6 hours ago.
And I don’t mean the ‘hey mum, I’m gay’ kind of coming out either.
And before anyone accuses me of being homophobe – I’m not. My brother is gay. Deal with it.
I meant the I-told-my-friends-about-my-blog way.
I have been writing as Miss Cherry Red for 12 months and up until today I hadn’t told a single one of my friends I was doing it.
Not because I had something to hide, or because I was writing shitty things about people either, but because for a long time, it was for me.
My blog was my special place.
A silent, boyfriend and childless space just for me.
It didn’t give a shit if I wasn’t all happy and smiley.
When I started writing I will be the first to admit that I was as miserable as sin I wasn’t in a happy place mentally.
I was stressed to the eyeballs that my relationship was going down the potty, my boss was being a complete arse and my daughter had learnt how to play me off against my mum.
Not fun times.
But why didn’t you just talk about it? Be all open wit the people you love …..
Because I didn’t bloody well want to.
I didn’t want semi-honest reassurance, I didn’t want a hundred different opinions on what I should do.
No thank you.
What I wanted was to be able to rant and say exactly what was on my mind without fear of retribution and then analyse it when I was done.
So I wrote and I ranted. For a little while, I got no comments, no followers.
I didn’t care though. That wasn’t why I started.
But before long, through reading other blogs and through the power of twitter (which I love), I found other people, other mums (and even some dads) who were going through exactly the same thing as me and I realised that I wasn’t insane.
I wasn’t alone.
So I carried on writing and loving the release.
And Miss Cherry Red was born.