OK, lets get something straight; if you want take a picture of yourself stark bollock naked (or even semi naked for that matter) for your own pleasure or the viewing pleasure of you and a partner or because you need the girls to verify something that looks a bit unsightly on your skin and are sending it to them via the privacy of your WhatsApp group chat then please…. knock yourself out.
Seriously. Do it. Go on and live your best life.
But if you want to take *that* kind of photo with the sole intention of sending it to
me someone that you have never met because you think it’s a giggle or because ‘you just have to’ then there is something very fucking wrong with you and you should know that shit like that boils my piss.
I got chatting to B weeks ago.
Nothing consistent at first, just the odd bit of chat here and there. If I’m honest I wasn’t entirely convinced that he floated my boat and I wondered if we actually had that much in common but he given that he didn’t offer to ‘sort me right out’ and had made me laugh when we did chat I figured I’d see what would happen.
After a while came the inevitable exchange in numbers.
And there was my fucking mistake.
The first message came through and just said ‘Nice’ and had a winky face emoji at the end.
The second message read ‘Back home now’. It too was accompanied by a winky face emoji.
Both messages came through at gone 10:30pm.
Now, I’m not a night owl – I never have been. I’m rubbish at staying up late and for those who don’t believe me you can ask The Hot Geek. The only time you’ll find me up after that time is if I’m pissed on Prosecco with the girls in which case I’ve been known to still be awake at gone midnight.
Naturally, I hadn’t replied…. but for fear of making B feel like I was ignoring him I sent a quick text that just read ‘Morning! x’ and this was the response I got:
No, I didn’t approve and his comment about it ‘only being a giggle’ really fucked me off because I wasn’t smiling.
After a while I got a couple of messages back:
Now, what I wanted to reply with was ‘it left me the impression that you were an oversexed dickhead’.
But, in a surprisingly out of character move, I thought I’d actually send him something that might make him think in future:
The “Sorry… Had to be done” implies that you couldn’t help yourself but to send the photo and it wasn’t till I challenged you on it that you jokingly acknowledged I didn’t approve and when it became very a clear I wasn’t interested in it only then did you apologise.
The apology would have been fine if you hadn’t followed it up with a comment about being a giggle which came across as you weren’t sorry at all. You were having a laugh with no care as to the impact it would have on me.
The thing is, it starts off with photos like that and 90% of the time it moves into pictures that are more revealing and when you don’t know a person it’s just so uncalled for.
If you met me in a bar… your first thought wouldn’t be to remove your top and show me your body? I don’t get why it’s OK to do it to someone you’ve been talking to online?
The simple answer is it’s not.
I’m not a prude and like I said at the beginning of this post – if this type of thing floats your boat or, as my mate Ammi says, ‘butters your crumpet’ you crack on but before you add it to a message or an email and send it to a total fucking stranger ask yourself – if you met the person you were sending it to in a bar or a cafe or anywhere for that matter – would your first action be to whack off your top and stand loud and proud in front of them waiting for some sort of approval.
I suspect the answer would be no.
So don’t be a dick.