Welcome to my world again.
For those of you returning, thank you.
For the newbies here let me give you a bit of background.
Way back in 2009 when The Girl was just a toddler I started this blog as a place for me to talk about the ups and downs of motherhood. I celebrated parenting milestones, I shared stories from my relationship and sometimes I used it as a space to vent about the frustrations of life in general.
It was my little corner of the internet and it allowed me to bare my soul.
I loved it.
But then something monumental happened.
In 2012 The Hot Geek and I separated and bit by bit my world completely crumbled.
For a few years I felt completely lost and I just shut down. I entered the darkest period of my life and I stayed there for a couple of years. For as miserable and as low and as perpetually sad as I felt, the dark made me feel safe. Don’t get me wrong, I know how utterly mental that sounds but I don’t know how else to describe it.
I was completely consumed by The Sadness and over time I stopped doing the things I loved.
I stopped writing and blogging. I stepped away from Twitter and I deactivated Facebook. Unless it was with my close girlfriends I stopped socialising. I just wanted to be at home living inside the bubble I’d created and though I walked round with the happiest of happy faces on the reality couldn’t have been any further away.
I felt so bogged down that I saw negativity in everything and everyone. Friends wanted to talk to me about The Hot Geek, the breakup, how things were at home with The Girl, they tried to get me to meet up and instead of recognising that they were trying to help me I would just shut down and I pushed them further and further away. I cried in the shower, cried in the car, cried myself to sleep and sometimes, when The Girl had gone to bed, I’d just sit on the sofa in the pitch black and just sob.
My girlfriends saved me. I make no secret of that fact.
They were persistent. They powered through and rallied round me in my darkest days and I’m glad they did. Over the past 3 years or so I’ve seen and felt a real change in me and I hold them entirely responsible for it. They loved me when I didn’t even like myself.
So here we are.
I’ve been back on Twitter for a while (click the little link and come follow me) and I use Facebook on occasion but what I love is writing and the time feels right to start this blog again. Truth is I’ve been thinking about it for a while but, for reasons I won’t go into just yet, I’ve realised the time to do it is now.
I’ll continue to write about The Girl who is no longer a toddler but instead a fully fledged
pain in my ass young woman.
I’ll talk about my mental health, about my anxieties and how they make me feel and how I cope with them.
I’ll vent my spleen about the current affairs and the affect they have on my family. I’ll rave about what I’ve watched on the telly, the highs and lows of Slimming World and for those who want to really want to see me go I’ll talk about my unhealthy obsession with Peaky Blinders, Idris Elba, Cillian Murphy and Jason Mamoa.
Word of warning though: Sometimes I’m NSFW. I’m definitely sweary and I’m not adverse to dropping the C bomb if
I’m talking about Donald Trump the moment is heated enough. I’ll make no apologies for who I am.
But I can promise you one thing, it’ll at least be fun.